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iMPACT! - May 25th 2009
"Night Of Main Events."
- Impact is a weekly taped show, that takes place on Monday Night. Wrestlers have 1 week to complete their match.
- The matches need to be started, and observed by the owner, a creative team member, or a match official, for the match to count towards the card's result. All of these people are listed on the staff page.
- If you are unable to participate in a show where you are booked, let one of those people know as soon as possible so we can rework the card.

GM Shen Du HBK Announces the Main Event and other GM Duties
Don't Break My Heart. My Achy Breaky Heart. The crowd immediately begins to boo loudly as Shen Du HBK's KronTron video plays displaying him pinning Josh Heartbrand for the IWWF Championship, defeating The Rock multiple times, and defeating Daemon X. Finally after what seems like ages the curtains part as Shen Du HBK, wearing a suit, makes his way to the ring dodging bottles thrown from the crowd. He steps into the ring and remove a microphone from his back suit pocket.

Shen Du HBK: Last week on Impact, I promised you all that you would witness chaos. Well it seems as though chaos has a name, and that name is Sarah Ng! (Mixed boos and cheers) But that victory would not be complete if I let it end right there. You see, the great thing about chaos is that it's not predictable. Anything can happen at any time. When I took over as GM of Impact I promised that ratings would go up. People tune into Impact when they know that they have no idea what could happen. That's why tonight we will see the IWWF Championship defended. Sarah Ng will defend her new championship against The Rock. (Cheers) However... that would be pretty boring, too cookie cutter. That's why this match needs a special guest referee. After all we're paying these referees too much as it is considering they seem to be knocked out half of the match. That's why we need a quality referee. A referee who will call it according to the official rules. A referee who is a former champion. Someone who knows what it's like to be in the ring. Someone who understands pressure situations. A person who knows how to handle those with large egos. We need not just a man, but a legend. That's why the only logical choice is myself. (Boos) I know many people are asking themselves how I could possibly be impartial. I ask you, in a match where I could care less who wins, what do I have to gain? But I will promise you a bit of madness. Which is what brings us to our next match. Sponsored by New Generation. Again, a career will be on the line. Queen Ino and Frosty. Fight for your job, for your livelihood, but most of all, fight for these fans.
Queen Ino vs. Frosty
(Loser Gets Fired!)
(Shen Du HBK puts the microphone back in his suit pocket and takes a seat by the time keeper as Queen Ino and Frosty make their way out. The two look incredibly nervous as they attempt to put a good show on for the crowd. The match continues for about four minutes before Shen Du HBK seems to make a strange hand motion. The lights turn off in the building until finally turning on after what seems like hours. The light reveals Sith, cloaked in a black robe, standing over the bodies of both Queen Ino and Frosty. Sith looks down upon them with a sneer as if displeased with how easily they were broken apart. Shen Du HBK looks on pleased, before removing the microphone)

Shen Du HBK: Security. Remove BOTH of these participants. They have both failed to win the match, and hence have both been fired. Queen Ino, it seems as though your so called "Alliance" to stop New Generation has failed before it even truly began. (Boos) Chaos always prevails because it cannot be foreseen and hence cannot be defended against. That's why at King of the Ring, we will have two matches we have never seen before to punish this pathetic Alliance. Sith, loyal dark lord of New Generation, will face off against the #1 Contender, Compro, in a lightsaber duel. (Cheers) In the other match, the hired help of New Generation, Netto Cash, will face Josh Heartbrand in a glock on a pole match. These matches have never been attempted before in the IWWF. And of course they don't favor either of the contestants (grin). Hit my music.

(Don't break my heart. My Achy Breaky Heart. Shen Du HBK and Sith leave the ring as Queen Ino and Frosty are removed from the building)
H0LLYWOOD defeated Daemon X
(Regular Match, IRC Title Contendership)
H0LLYWOOD had no chance to win this match. Daemon X is a dark magician, a man whose ability, Dark Magic, has even killed on occasion. How could H0LLYWOOD, seemingly a mediocre wrestler at best, defeat Daemon X of New Generation? H0LLYWOOD answered all of his critics by using his intelligence to outsmart Daemon X. Having seen how Daemon X has been victorious before, H0LLYWOOD secretly wore a glass mirror underneath his top. As Daemon X performed his Dark Magic, H0LLYWOOD revealed the mirror and the Dark Magic was reflected at an unsuspecting Daemon X who was immediately knocked out. H0LLYWOOD delivered a leg drop for good measure and pinned Daemon X to become the number one contender to the IRC Title at the King of the Ring.
Josh Heartbrand defeated Netto Cash
(Hardcore Match)
Josh Heartbrand again out wrestled Netto Cash in the ring. However, this match would not be decided by technical ability. Towards the end of the match, Netto Cash reached into the rear of his jeans for his glock. He shot at Josh Heartbrand who was able to roll out of the ring quickly and evade the bullet. The referee called for the bell as Netto Cash spoke.

Netto Cash: Josh Heartbrand. You been underestimating Netto Cash for too long in the IWWF. I hear ur shit all the time bout how u be the 31 Time IWWF Champion and other shit. I don't give two fucks if you been doin ur grandma 31 times last night. Dis here is Netto's IWWF now bitch. Shen be payin me the benjamins I need to get my #1 supersized so I work for him. He tells me that JHB, that bitch need to get taken out. Shen knows that you pose a potential threat to him down the line. Dats why at King of the Ring, I'm gonna do wat I shud of done to ur ass along time ago. Pop a fuckin cap in it. Josh Heartbrand u may be the 31 time champion, but I sure as fuck hope you got 31 lives. Cuz your ass is gonna need it at the King of the Ring.

(Netto throws down the microphone)
Shox defeated CT
(Hardcore Match)
In Shox's first match since returning to the IWWF he completely dismantled CT after all the trash talking he had done against the former great. CT was begging for mercy at the end of the match but Shox would hear none of it, continuing to pound CT's face even as blood gushed down his face. The fans cheered Shox on as he went on to win his first match back.
Compro defeated Jericho
(Hardcore Match)
In the second bout between these two former tag partners, Compro was again victorious over Jericho. It seemed as though Compro, the current number one contender to the IWWF Championship, had Jericho's number throughout the match. Compro was able to cleanly defeated Jericho who looked deflated after his loss and went back to the locker room looking depressed.

Patriot Champion
Shaun Swagger defeated Banging via DQ
(Title vs. Title, Regular Match)

IRC Champion
In the first Title vs. Title bout in the IWWF in over two years, neither title would change hands. Shaun Swagger again would go on to dominate in his match but would fall prey to Banging's veteran tactics. Seeing that he was outmatched in stamina, Banging turned to the referee and leveled him with a right hand. Banging knew this would secure his championship and give himself a chance to recover for a future battle where he could train more. Though he had underestimated Shaun Swagger this time, he would not make that mistake in the future. Shaun Swagger was livid with the result and proceeded to destroy IWWF equipment even fifteen minutes after the match had ended. Finally, IWWF security had to remove him from the arena.

Sarah Ng tells the crowd "Why"
Sarah Ng is shown standing in the middle of the ring with the IWWF Championship around her waist and a large smile. A microphone is in her right hand as she begins to speak.

Sarah Ng: Everywhere I go people keep asking me, Why Sarah, Why? (Mixed Reaction) My answer to all of you. WHY NOT? All my life people have patted me on the back any time I have exceeded expectations as though they're shocked that a woman could do the things I've done. Everyone has always told me, Sarah, you're a great wrestler, but come on, you're a woman, you can never be Champion. Rocky. My feelings for you... they were real. But the feeling I had when I won the IWWF Title is something that cannot be replicated by anything else in this world. It's a victory not only for me, but for every woman in the world who has been told that her dreams aren't realistic because of her gender. I could have taken the easy way out. You'd be my boyfriend, take me out, take care of me, I could live in your shadow. Maybe one day I could even win the IRC Championship. But last week on Impact, I saw the chance of a lifetime. The chance to seize destiny by the horns. I took it. And you know what? It felt damn good! You know what Rock...

(Do You Smell What The Rock Is Cooking? The Rock's theme song plays over the speakers as fans go ballistic and The Rock, wearing a very angry face, makes his way towards the ring, microphone in hand)

The Rock: Sarah Ng, you piece of pootang pie, slutty McDonalds parking lot, hairy kangaroo vagina piece of donkey shit. You dare come out to The Rock's ring and tell The Rock you orgasmed at the thought of becoming champion? The Rock knows a lot of things about orgasms, and none of that comes from you're down under piece of skank ass. The Rock doesn't give a flying piece of monkey doo about what feelings you had. Sarah, when you took The Rock's IWWF Championship, you left The Rock with no choice but to whip your trailer ark ass all over The Rock's ring so he can take back what belongs to him. The Rock just has one question for you Sarah. Did Shen's cock taste like sweet and sour or moo shoo beef?

Sarah Ng: Rocky, how can you say these things? I still love you. I...

(The Rock goes to slap Sarah Ng but Jason Voorhees comes out from underneath the ring and chokeslams The Rock. The crowd looks on as The Rock's body convulses on the mat and Sarah Ng lays over the body of The Rock. She stares into his eyes, kisses him on the cheek, and then proceeds to slap him across the face)
Jason Voorhees defeated Sith
(Jason Must Win To Remain In New Gen)
Shen Du HBK threatened Jason Voorhees that if he could not beat Sith he would be removed from New Generation. Many people questioned whether or not Sith would give his all in this match. Those doubters were shown to be wrong only three minutes in when Sith unsheathed his lightsaber and attempted to disembowel Jason Voorhees in the middle of the ring. Jason was able to take evasive action, impressive for a man of his size, and kick the weapon out of the hand of Sith. Jason Voorhees ended up victorious and was met with a handshake and hug after the match as he earned the right to remain in New Generation, assuring him a future shot at the IWWF Championship under the control of Shen Du HBK.

IWWF Champion
Sarah NG vs. The Rock
(IWWF Championship Match)
Special Guest Referee: Shen Du HBK
Fans went wild during this match as Sarah Ng was introduced to the ring as the New IWWF Champion. Women pinched their boyfriends and screamed in support of her as the men quietly dissented. When The Rock came out the men went nuts and it was clear who the true fan favorite was. He looked oddly naked without his IWWF Championship. The Rock immediatetly clotheslined Sarah Ng to the mat without Shen Du HBK, the referee. The match had yet to officially start and The Rock was already brutalizing Sarah Ng to the horror of all those in attendance. Sarah Ng tried to beg The Rock to stop but there was a crazed look in his face that showed that he was determined to prove a point. Finally, Shen Du HBK made his way out to the ring skipping along with a huge smile, wearing an IWWF Referee Uniform. He immediately tapped The Rock on the shoulder quoting him Rule 2313 of the IWWF Rule Book that boots larger than twenty inches in diameter cannot be used to kick at the head of an opponent. The Rock began to argue with Shen Du HBK before Shen pointed behind The Rock. There was Jason Voorhees.

Jason Voorhees power bombed The Rock on top of Sarah Ng and covered them both as Shen Du HBK made the three count and forced the timekeeper to ring the bell. He then grabbed the microphone.

Shen Du HBK: Ladies and Gentlemen. Your NEW IWWF Champion... JASON VOORHEES!!! (Incredible amount of boos) WE DID IT!! WE'RE GOING TO DISNEY...LAND!!!!!!!!!!

(Shen Du HBK jumped into the arms of Jason Voorhees when suddenly familiar theme music began to play. The fans looked on in disbelief when the word "ENERU" was displayed on the KronTron. The arena erupted as Eneru came out, wearing an expensive suit, with a microphone in his hand)

Eneru: Shen Du HBK. There's one man you cannot defeat. The King. The longest reining champion of all time. Executive Assistant to IWWF Owner, Joshua Kronick, Eneru.

Shen Du HBK: How is this possible? Security! Arrest this man for posing to know fashion!

Eneru: Your insults are as laughable as your wrestling talent. Jason Voorhees was not booked in this match. He cannot become IWWF Champion.

Shen Du HBK: How did you become Executive Assistant? I am the GM. I run this show. I orchestrate the chaos.

Eneru: Indeed you do. But that does not abrogate my authority. I am TELLING you. Jason Voorhees is NOT the IWWF Champion. By the way Shen. You may want to turn around.

(The Rock has got back up to his feet and clotheslines Jason Voorhees out of the ring. He then proceeds to Rock Bottom Shen Du HBK. The crowd cheers as everyone wonders the same thing. Who is the IWWF Champion?? Tune in next week to Impact to find out!!!)

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